I am convinced that I am completely, wholly and fully incapable of accomplishing much over a long period of time while only relying on myself. But gosh, do I just keep on trying. Stupid.
I'm a pretty smart girl, but sometimes God just shakes His head. Sorry, dad.
I do it all the time. I get lost in the pursuit of perfection. I get mired down in the "I got this" deceit. I become absorbed by the false sense of security and ego of "on my own" and "by myself" is better than "let go and let God" - and plus, my way is MUCH faster! So stupid.
I have heard that "Let go and let God" phrase many times in my Christian walk. But it seems to contradict with scripture that says "Fight the good fight of faith” (1 Timothy 6:12); “Endure hardship . . . like a good soldier of Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 2:3); and “Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes” (Ephesians 6:11). We are not to sit back and do nothing and allow life to unfold however it may. That is not biblical.
So what does it really mean?
Jesus was clear that apart from him we can do nothing. In one of my all time favorite verses Jesus tells us he is the vine (John 15) "Everything branches need to bring forth fruit comes from the vine—water, nutrients, the genetic material of life itself—while nothing is provided by the branches. The branches are simply something to hang the fruit on. The same is true of the Christian life. We are a conduit through which Christ displays His (not our) fruit". (GotQuestions) But in the search for what we are to do - letting go and letting God needs further clarification. Think of it like this. In order to achieve God's will for your life (holiness) - you need to constantly relinquish (surrender) your self-will.
“Let go [of the outcome you desire], and let God [manifest His will].”
"Let go [of your bitterness], and let God [soften your heart]."
"Let go [of your ego], and let God [give you a spirit of humility]."
"Let go [of your pursuit of perfection], and let God [cover you with grace]."
Let go = surrender
let God = holiness
Surrender isn't easy and it comes with a huge cost. God asks us to surrender everything. All we have, all we are and all we hope to be. He gave His son, he expects no less from us. But in return He offers grace which gives us the desire and power to be holy. We cannot be holy apart from him.
So again, I am certain that apart from the vine, I will wither and die and bear no fruit. I am like the fig tree Jesus cursed. When I try to handle life on my own, in my own way and falsely believing that I do not need the vine (Jesus), I am like the fig tree which from far off had all the appearances of bearing fruit, but upon closer inspection was all talk and no action. Jesus judges our fruitlessness just like he cursed the fig tree. The only way we can hope to produce any good fruit in our lives and careers is to surrender and remember to let God produce in us a holiness that will never fail to produce a bountiful harvest in our lives.